Bumper Stickers

My childhood friend keeps sending me these collections…She just can’t help herself, and I can’t help wanting to share…When I first came here from Canada many years ago, I found the California bumper stickers hilarious and made a list of the best ones…which I’ve misplaced, of course. Anybody else got any good ones?

If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
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‘IF YOU CAN’T FEED ‘EM, DON’T BREED ‘EM!’
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Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap.
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Horn Broken…Watch For Finger.
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The Earth Is Full – Go Home.
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So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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Illiterate? Write For Help.
~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me. I’m Changing Lanes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.

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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person.

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You! Out Of The Gene Pool – Now!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies tell Me To.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ 
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph

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Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boldly Going Nowhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heart Attacks: God’s Revenge
For Eating His Animal Friends

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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is Lost?

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AND Finally –
‘POLITICIANS¬†AND DIAPERS BOTH NEED
TO BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR
THE SAME REASON.’

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