Here’s some real groaners sent to me by a friend..We all can always use a laugh..
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
> Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak
> and heat it, too.
> Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says,
> ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
> Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
> His goal: transcend dental medication.
> A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
> the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
> hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why
> they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts
> boasting in an open foyer.’
> A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a
> small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
> the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
> unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went
> back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
> hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
> ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
> saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did
> so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
> Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
> produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
> which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
> breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.