Just Sayin’


Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that
 mean that one out of five enjoys it? 
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t
 they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why
 aren’t people from Holland called Holes? 
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
 but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? 
If it’s true that we are here to help others,
 then what exactly are the others here for? 
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
 then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be
 delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
 deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ? 
Dton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
 tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese
 mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the PostOffice?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
 don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps
 so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive? 
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? 
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
 When you put the two words ‘The ‘ and ‘IRS’
 together, it spells ‘THEIRS’?

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